Persona 5 Royal Review: Paul Hated It for 18 Hours. Then It Stole His Heart.
A legendary supporter dared our story guy to play a 100-hour JRPG. Seventy hours later, Paul calls it a flawed masterpiece that oozes more style per square inch than any game he's played.
Paul has always said story and characters make the most memorable games. So legendary supporter Ace of Shame put him to the test: would a great story carry a game Paul normally wouldn't touch? Paul doesn't usually click with Japanese RPGs or turn-based combat, and Persona 5 Royal can run over 100 hours. Ace even commissioned an artist to make a Phantom Thieves calling card for each of us. At first, it looked like a ransom note.
Josh played 12 hours, which turned out to be roughly the tutorial. Ryan watched the story like an anime with his son. Paul put in 70 hours. His wife kept calling it "the weird game."
What is it?
A Japanese RPG that is anime-based. That's how I'd boil it down.
It's three games in one: a turn-based dungeon crawler, a Japanese high school life sim and a bit of Pokémon. You're a transfer student, falsely accused of violence by someone powerful, sent to live with a gruff café owner who doesn't want you there. You discover an app that lets you enter the Metaverse, the twisted inner worlds of corrupt adults, and steal their hearts so they confess and change. You and your friends become the Phantom Thieves. Every day on the calendar matters, because some activities are only available on certain days.
It gets dark fast. The first villain, a celebrated PE teacher and former Olympian, is abusing his students, and the game doesn't shy away from that. Josh says it does a great job of making you hate a villain. Ace told him that if he hated that guy, wait until he saw what came next. The game's seven main Palaces are each based on one of the seven deadly sins.
The style
This game packs more style per square inch than any game I've ever seen.
Menus slide in with attitude, the nurse character re-crosses her legs when you switch shop tabs, and even scrolling a menu makes a satisfying pen click. Every trip across town cuts to Tokyo streets and subway platforms. Victory screens look like Kill Bill title cards. The soundtrack is among the best in gaming, with recurring themes for mornings, class and battles that give your days a real rhythm.
Combat
Hit an enemy's weakness to knock it down and earn another turn. Then Baton Pass that turn to a teammate with a power boost. Knock down every enemy and you can negotiate (recruit them as a new Persona, or take money or items) or launch an All-Out Attack. Every character also has a gun with one magazine per fight.
Then there are Showtime attacks, which Paul had to send us the second he unlocked them. Morgana hands Ann a bouquet, she pulls two submachine guns out of the roses and spins like a top. Yusuke cooks a beef bowl for Ryuji, an enemy bursts into the restaurant, Ryuji throws a grenade and Yusuke shoots it. Even Morgana says "This is ridiculous." Paul compares it to the movie Shoot 'Em Up, and he loved every second.
In the Velvet Room, you fuse Personas by guillotine, power one up by sacrificing another, and more. It's bizarre and deep. The difficulty is the weak spot: regular fights are a 1 out of 10 on normal, then bosses jump to an 8.5. Josh never died in 12 hours except to the first boss. Play on hard.
The school life
You build bonds with 19 Confidants, each with 10 ranks that unlock perks, while raising five social stats: Knowledge, Kindness, Guts, Proficiency and Charm. You can earn Guts by attempting a giant-burger challenge, Charm by taking a bath, and you can even take real class exams. It's often hilarious. A forum post about a creep muttering to himself at the planetarium turns out to be your artist teammate Yusuke.
The uncomfortable part
As a 40-year-old dad, Paul felt like a creep at times. Ann, a high schooler, is heavily sexualized, with plenty of camera angles and jiggle physics, and some adult relationships with teens are played as normal. Josh, an anime fan, chalks some of it up to the genre, but it still skirts the line. This is not a game you want someone walking in on.
The VGP take
Josh and Ryan guessed Paul would rank it in his top 15. Then Paul started: "I hated this game so much..."
...for the first 18 hours. Stockholm syndrome is real. The next thing I knew, I was like, you know what, I'm kind of into this game.
The first 15 hours are basically a tutorial, and it peaks around hours 50-55, with creative boss fights (a painting battle he won't spoil) and gorgeous anime cutscenes. He'd keep playing if we didn't have the podcast. That's 70 hours, more than he's played any new game since we started the show. He ranked it 20th, above Elden Ring and Hogwarts Legacy, and he can't imagine ranking another JRPG that high. The style takes it from an 8.5 to a 9.5 for him. It's a flawed masterpiece. He'll absolutely play the next Persona. (No, he hasn't started Persona 3 Reload yet.)
If you even think you might like JRPGs and you're an adult, take your time with this one.