DOOM: The Dark Ages Review: Stand and Fight, and It's Metal as Heck
The Slayer trades his jetpack for a chainsaw shield, a flail and a dragon. It's not quite Doom Eternal, but it's the perfect palate cleanser.
DOOM: The Dark Ages landed right after Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 took over our lives, and the timing could not have been better.
"Dude, I feel like I need to run through a wall right now."
It's a prequel to 2016's DOOM, set in a medieval hellscape. The developers' motto this time was "stand and fight." In DOOM Eternal you were a fighter jet, zipping around and grappling. Here you're a tank, with armor, a flail, and a shield with a chainsaw on it.
It is not slow
That was the big worry going in, and it's unfounded. The shield charge launches you clear across the arena into a crowd of enemies (Ryan's first upgrade). Parrying green projectiles keeps your head on a swivel. And the game pushes you to be aggressive: low on health? Charge the biggest group you can find, because that's where the health drops are.
This game did such a good job making you feel strong and powerful without making your enemies feel weak.
And that landing. Jump off any ledge and the Slayer hits the ground with a thunderous slam that cracks the floor and sends small demons flying. Josh climbs up high just to jump off.
You are a juggernaut.
The arsenal
The guns are wonderfully over the top. There's the Pulverizer, which grinds up skulls and fires the bone shards. There's the Cycler, a double-barreled plasma machine gun. And there's Ryan's obsession, the Chainshot, which hurls a steel ball on a chain that ricochets off demons. He kept using it even when it nearly got him killed, because it's just that much fun. With the right upgrade, a perfect parry instantly charges it. The Super Shotgun at point-blank range is still the most satisfying sound in gaming.
The shield does it all: block, parry, charge, stun enemies when you throw it (and solve a few puzzles). Throw it at a demon, then unload the Super Shotgun.
John's honest critique: on standard difficulty, one or two weapons handle everything. The Cycler overheats shields and armor, the shield throw stuns, and you can repeat that all game. Josh and Ryan, playing on Nightmare, found the tougher demons force you to mix it up, but they agree DOOM Eternal pushed weapon variety a lot harder.
Dragons and mechs
You get two showpiece vehicles:
- Serrat, the cyber-dragon. He's clad in armor with a glowing red eye, and he looks like the cover of a 90s metal album. When Josh first saw him, he laughed out loud and said, "This is the most metal game I've ever seen." John's favorite part of the whole game is the first dragon level. (Ryan spent two hours fighting the dragon controls, which differ from what the game tells you. Hold right trigger, then left trigger, then B to dodge. You're welcome.)
- The Atlan mech. It's cool for about ten minutes. The combat is stripped down to a couple of buttons, and it was everyone's least favorite part.
The gripes
- It gets repetitive. Guest host John felt he'd seen it all by chapter six. Josh admits he plays in shorter sessions for that reason.
- Character design. Aside from the dragon and a few enemies, the demons and the main villain look generic to John and Ryan.
- It's not quite Eternal. Josh, who prefers speed, puts it at about 80% as good as DOOM Eternal, which is still saying a lot.
The VGP take
You could summarize the story of this game on a napkin with a crayon. It's three words: rip and tear.
Ryan, who loves face-tanking, gave it an 8.3 and says it felt like playing an arcade game again. Josh gave it an 8.2: he had a blast on Nightmare and thinks it's well optimized, but he still prefers Eternal. John, a story-driven gamer, gave it a 7.5. He calls it a fun popcorn movie and says this is probably all the DOOM he needs.
Is it worth $70? If you love DOOM, yes. If you're curious, grab it on Game Pass, and rip and tear.